Sunday, June 27, 2010

theres a first time for everything right?

i have been flying for two years and being new to the airline industry i didn't really know what to expect; the outrageousness i would encounter. i've heard stories of horror and hilarity about mile high sexcapades, druggies, smokers and boozers. i've never had my own story...until now.

          i was working a red eye to the east coast from L.A. i'm not sure what it is about red eyes that make some people think they can get away with anything.. maybe because its dark, and quiet, and the body clocks of most people tell them to sleep. maybe they think that the flight attendants are going to succumb to the melatonin inducing dimness of the cabin (just so you know, we can't. and we crave something to keep us busy so we're usually more alert than normal.) the few guests who remain awake on red eyes are naturally or caffeinated night owls and on this night i appeared to have just that, two night owls sitting in the very last row in a very dim cabin ordering drink after drink.
     Around their 3rd or 4th mixed beverage i begun to worry about them a little bit, the pair were long and lanky and they had not ordered any food all night long nor been drinking water. As i was preparing their latest beverage order i thought that i'd let them know how the altitude DOES affect your body. i stopped by their row and spoke quietly to them about how drinking one beverage in the sky is like drinking two on the ground and i offered to complete their latests order as long as they also accepted some water. they agreed that water would be nice. so, back to my galley i went to fetch some water.  as i was returning, walking up on them from behind, i caught one of my night owls leaning over his tray table with a rolled up dollar bill to his nose and inhaling "SoMeThInG" that i could not see, presumably because it was the same color as the table. I.WAS.SHOCKED. i had never been around drugs like that before. sure there was the odor of maryjane wafting through the dorms of my college days, but this was not some "Gateway" drug. this was hardcore. this was in front of my face. and in plain view of the all the other guests, some of which were children and all of which were sleeping. so shocked was i, that the first thing out of my mouth was " I KNOW youre NOT doing what I think youre doing." the night owls looked up at me and in a manner that makes me think they've been caught before said "no.. were not." still clutching the rolled up bill. Protocol whipped through my head.. did i have my written notice to cease? i didn't. so i gave them the only thing i could, a verbal warning that if they didn't stop and any one of my coworkers or guests saw them that i would have to alert authorities once we landed. i left them to phone my lead and let her know what i just encountered. at the same time another coworker walked by so i had him take a peek at the night owls too just in case they decided to continue their criminal activity. all the flight attendants and i got together to discuss the situation, none of us had the written warning and weren't sure what level of action drug usage required. we decided to tell the capt. who decided to call operations who decided to wake up the head of security who told us to let them go. LET THEM GO?! there is now drug residue on our plane. our night owls are hopped up and drunk and if something happens and they need medical attention i really wouldn't know what to do in case of an overdose, on top of that what if they start freaking out and i need to restrain them.. dude this had bad news written all over it, i lost respect for mr. head of security.... *sigh*
    anyways the rest of the flight went off without a hitch. our night owls decided they WERE tired after all and fell asleep. when we landed there were no police, no medical staff and no drug sniffing dogs, the night owls just walked off the plane and into the sunrise.
the crew walked off in disbelief and decided our new billboard ad campaign should say something to the affect of "Come snort coke with us!" "High, in the Sky!"

     for those of you thinking "cool, who are you so i can be high in the sky?" i discourage whatever you have planned in that pea sized brain of yours. if you do drugs in the air i am not going to take care of you as you have seizures lying in a pool of your own vomit. you'd better leave "IT" at home.

good night for now, and happy flying.

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